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13 April 2012 @ 10:50 pm
Okay so I'm actually going to do this.  
Over the last few weeks I've been thinking about the people I have in my life to look up to and it occurred to me that I have only two people and don't get me wrong, they're the most amazing people in the world. And it almost kills me to think that they obviously do not know me being celebrities and all. Of course I'm talking about Naya Rivera and Darren Criss.

Naya has taught me that you can be from any ethnic background and it doesn't limit where you can go in whatever you want to do. Nay is from three different backgrounds and she's a worldwide star, has an amazing talent and is just perfect in every way. she's realistic and quite obviously down to earth. She supports LGBT and is anti-bullying, she's all about people having equal rights and that everyone should be an equal in this world. Add the fact that she's hot and a left-hander and she's just.. I can't even think of a word.

But yeah, Naya is more of a minor idol to me when you consider the things Darren represents;

Darren Everett Criss is the single most amazing and inspiring person I could ever have stumbled upon by accident; Darren came from nothing and made a living out of something he has always loved doing. He grew up in a very open lgbt background and even though he is straight, he just wants everyone to be themselves and what makes them happy; "Gay, straight, purple, orange, dinosaur. That which makes you different is what makes you strong."

Darren has always been himself, from Starkid to Glee, he's a self proclaimed "quirky weirdo" and that's one of the things that makes him such a good role model. He writes his owns songs, regularly forgets his own lyrics due to his nervousness on stage which shows his fans that he's still a human even though he's made it. 

I wish I had as much confidence as Naya and Darren, I never had the guts to get up on a stage and perform once I saw that there were people who may not have been better than me but definitely showed off a lot more. I've always been a wallflower, only speaking out when needed but I couldn't ever find my voice for something I've always loved doing. I've been singing for literally as long as I can remember, like I can remember singing along to the spice girls and musicals when I was three. I never showed off my voice to anyone, people only ever hear me singing when I'm drunk or singing to myself. I've had several people tell me I should apply for x factor or BgT but I do not have anywhere near the confidence to do that and I hate people who talk down to me so any bad comments would send me into tears. I'd love to do like a karaoke night or something like that in a pub but I would never go on my own out of stage fright. Darren himself performed in cafes and places like that for years and still does impromptu gigs in L.A. I've always wanted to do what I'm studying at college but I would love to sing some more. I don't even know if I'm actually any good or if people are just being nice to me when they really think that I suck. I've posted a few songs on my tumblr but even thought I've had some nice comments and stuff I still lack the confidence to accept it. 

I'm trying to take a leaf out of Naya and Darren's books and be more confident about myself but coming from my background, it's hardly a surprise that it's going to take forever if it even happens at all.
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